> From: Hvbktb@aol.com
> To: vianet@i-2000.com
> Subject: This is one club I wish I weren't a member of
> Date: Thursday, September 04, 1997 8:41 PM
>
> I was diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma of the large bowel. From the time of the
> initial onset of noticable symptoms (severe abdominal cramping) to the
> dreadful discovery and confirmation took between 2 and 3 months. This was
> primarily because no one knew what they were looking for. I was treated for
> everything from bleeding ulcers to an overactive production of stomach acids
> irritating the diaphram. When all of these treatments produced no results
> what so ever in reducing the problem I was sent to a gastro intestinal Dr.
> Based on the initial information he was given he made the comment that "it
> seems like polyps, but that couldn't really be given your age". I was 26 at
> the time. He scheduled a colonoscopy and took some tissue samples and
> wala...I had cancer.
>
> I quickly located a surgeon who did a wonderful job of resecting my colon.
> Given the circumstances and my age, he also took it upon himself during
> surgery to remove some lymph nodes and send them to the lab. Results showed
> that 7 of 41 were involved, indicating metastises. I was diagnosed with
> grade III leio. Based upon this I was referred to an oncologist for follow
> up treatment, to include chemo.
>
> The first one that I went to looked at me and told me that he honestly knew
> absolutly nothing of the desease and recommended that I go to a specialty
> clinic. I myself still knew next to nothing of the desease. So, I gathered
> up what records I had accumulated up to that point, films, surgical reports,
> etc. and boarded a plane headed for M.D. Anderson in Houston. While on the
> flight I began reading through the information and that was when I saw that
> the oncologist had included a letter to file, which gave me very grim
> survival chances.
>
> While at M.D. Anderson, I underwent a barrage of tests over a 3 day period
> and went home awaiting some type of conclusion. Upon my arrival I also went
> in search of another oncologist. That was an exciting undertaking in itself.
> I explained my condition to the Dr.s and told them that I had been to MD
> Anderson. I also told them that I was looking for a Dr that was willing to
> provide treatments based on direction from Houston. Well, as it turns out I
> found a wonderful Dr. When he read over all the information and had agreed
> to administer whatever Houston prescribed, he told me that he already knew
> what they were going to recommend. Well, a couple weeks after that MD
> Anderson had reached their conclusions and had prescribed exactly what my Dr
> had told me they would. That in itself made me feel as though I had found a
> good one.
>
> The treatments themselves were horrible. I experienced some pretty bad
> reactions to the chemo. This was also due to the fact that the doses
> administered were very aggressive. November came and I was told by my Dr
> that the effects of chemo therapy are permanent on the body and that only so
> much can be given without running the risk of some very bad side effects,
> such as cardiac arrest. He then explained to me that the dosage that I had
> already recieved had put me into the red and that Houston wanted to continue
> with treatments, but he was getting uncomfortable with it. After some
> discussion with him about his feelings for the effect and my current health
> it was decided that my chem results were good and that all indications showed
> that the desease was in remission. He never used the word cured, as he
> informed me that there was a very good chance that the desease would return,
> the risk increasing as I got older.
>
> Well, that was 7 and a half years ago now. And while I've had my moments
> where I would get some abdominal cramps or something and I would fear the
> worst, tests continued to come back 'normal'.
>
> Now I find myself in one of those situations again. I have since moved from
> where my original Dr was treating me and I basically picked an oncologist
> from the phone book. I have once again been experiencing abdominal problems,
> have noticed that I have waves of a low grade type fever and my finger nail
> beds are much whiter than normal, all things I experienced and noticed with
> the original onset.
>
> I am beside myself too. I got married to a wonderful woman just a little
> over 2 years ago. While I had run into other relationships where the cancer
> history scared them and basically ended the relationship, she has known about
> it from the beginning and charged right in anyway. She is currently in the
> Air Force and stationed in Saudi Arabia (temporary assignment for 4 months).
> We are only 2 months into it and these symptoms have come up. We had made a
> promise to be completely honest with each other soon after our relationship
> became serious, and we both continue to live up to that. With much
> hesitation and pain I have informed her of the symptoms and my fears. Now
> we're both scared to death and still seperated by 7000 miles. And the worst
> part is that the only way that she can come home early is if I actually get
> diagnosed.
>
> This is a very hard time for me, probably harder than the original because I
> know more about the desease and I now have a wife who is being hurt by it as
> well. While she's upset, she has said that if it's back then we'll just have
> to get me better. I just don't have the heart to tell her that the
> statistics that I've read say otherwise.
>
> I hope that I haven't rambled on too much for you, but as you can imagine
> this is something of a hard time for me...especially being alone.
>
> We will continue to hope for the best and see what happens after the tests on
> the 15th. Any words of wisdom you might have would definately be
> appreciated.
>
> Thanks for your time,
>
> Kevin Ballard
> HVBKTB@AOL.COM