> From: mjolly@entergy.com
> To: Kent A. Field <vianet@i-2000.com>
> Subject: Re[2]: leiomyo survivor
> Date: Friday, May 16, 1997 4:54 PM
>
> Kent,
> I understand your feelings of despair with some of the
> mail you probably get. I am going to guess that since being
> diagnosed with cancer, your life is a major roller coaster
> ride. There will be days you will feel like going out and
> conquering the world. Other times you will feel like
> crawling into a corner and feeling that the cancer will come
> back. After all, these other people have relapses.
> These are thoughts you will have to deal with for the
> rest of your life. You have certainly done your home work
> on supplements and what you feel you should take to keep you
> physically well and cancer free. What is important at this
> point is to make sure you are mentally well. Why did we get
> cancer? Once we rule out all of the obvious reasons for a
> person to get cancer we are left with the mystery you or I
> will probably never uncover. Which means we have no
> guarantees about never getting cancer again. This is the
> truth we have to live with and deal with mentally.
> I don't know that you can ever completely get past this
> mentally. That is why I admire that you had the guts to
> create your web page. I am sure you did not realize what an
> undertaking you were starting when you did this.
> The people corresponding with you are at a very
> vulnerable point in their life. They are looking for any
> crutch they can find. You, my friend, are a crutch. When I
> visited your web page I saw in you someone who was ready to
> take on the world and you were willing to bring along anyone
> who wanted to come. It was not until I received your reply
> that I caught a glimpse of the possibility that you might be
> human. Your fears and anxieties are 'normal' and to be
> expected. Burdening yourself with everyone else's stories
> of relapses and struggles is something I would not wish on
> anyone. What you know in your heart is these people need
> your inspiration.
> If I had to guess, I would guess that your web page might
> have even been one of the deals you made with God. You know
> the deals I am talking about. The promise you would do this
> or that if God made you better. We all make those deals. I
> made my share. I have not done everything I promised to do,
> but I haven't forgotten them either.
> In reality, what this page has done for you is created
> two full time jobs. One being that you inspire those that
> visit your page to be strong and continue to fight. The
> other is you have to spend 24 hours a day being self
> motivated. You have to find motivating aspects in your
> everyday life. You can find them in music, books and
> people. You can also find this in the realization that no
> one has any guarantees. Not one of us is promised tomorrow.
> I realized this shortly after my surgery. Never again will
> I take even the most trivial events in life for granted. I
> run in the mornings. I am out on the road before the sun
> comes up. And whether I am by myself or with a crowd of
> people I love, I grasp the morning with every cell in my
> body. I live each day knowing that this is the day God hath
> made.
> There was an article I found some time ago in Readers
> Digest that talked about making a personal list of fifty
> things to accomplish in ones life. These can be anything.
> Places you want to go, things you want to learn, mountains
> you want to climb. The first twenty or so are fairly easy
> to come up with. After that you really have to put some
> thought into it. Some of mine include learning to speak
> another language, teaching an adult to read, and learning
> how to play a musical instrument.
> Please remember how much help you are providing these
> people. They need stories like yours to continue in their
> struggles. And you will be blessed for your actions.
> I know this is lengthy, but in closing I would just like
> to say whenever you are feeling down remember YOU ARE CURED!
> Did you understand that ? KENT FIELD IS CANCER FREE! Now
> put on that brave face and continue to fight the good fight.
> I will gladly help you in any way I can. If there is
> anything I can do for you just let me know. In the words of
> one of my favorite poets " ...I have people to see,
> promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep..."
>
> Thanks again,
>
> mj